News summary
Homesims omit that vital decimal
point |
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Simsite that nobody
noticed closed, reopens
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Fan disappointed with 'pawn' site
download |
Simsite that nobody
noticed opened, closes
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New location for Simsville: Nowhere
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On the road to Nowhere
Sim City planning chief Ray Mefarsola
this week announced the new location for the much-anticipated
Simsville project: Nowhere.
'Nowhere is the ideal location
for this new offshoot of Sim City.' he confirmed,
'Indeed, many people have been saying that we've been
going Nowhere fast with this project, and as
you can see, they were absolutely right.'
Nowhere, man
The announcement has ended speculation
about the exact location of the new development, which
has taken the best part of a year to get exactly Nowhere.
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Dummies rejoice
Brought
to book |
Popular
Dummies publishers Hungry Minds, Inc. today
gave a green light for a late fall publication of
their first Sims title, 'Edith for Dummies'.
Written by popular Sims app guru Bil Simser,
the title promises to be a worldwide bestseller.
'Oh
sure,' said one HMI spokeswoman, 'Let's see: there
are around 600 active Sims websites, of which
maybe 100 are active object makers. That gives
us a projected first print run of maybe 50
copies.'
'That
is, like, so worth our while.'
Although
he is best known as a prolific author of fiction,
Bil Simser's first foray into nonfiction publishing
is sure to be a success. Previous titles include the
autobiographical ' Climbing Mount Ego' and
the fantasy classic, 'The Japanese Footbridge &
Other Impossible Objects'.
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| Poultry corner |
'Egg-static'
- Chicken |
Pet-loving
Neighbourhood Two today declared an end to the age-old
Sim tradition of 'Kicking the Chicken'.
Resident's Association spokeswoman Dolores Anaas confirmed:
'These beautiful birds deserve our affection. Under the
new regulations, a heavy fine can be expected for any
unpleasant behaviour.'
'We say: if you want to kick something, go kick a flamingo.
Or even a gnome.' |
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Mayor
of Sim City arrested at new strip club
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Mayor
Harker clearly visible on CCTV |
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Sim
City Mayor Jonathan Harker today denied any impropriety
after his late-night arrest inside the newly-opened
strip club, 'Sim X'.
'I
was there on official city business', he told the
assembled Sim City press, 'Health and safety, liquor
licences and employee welfare are all, ultimately,
the responsibility of the Mayor.'
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A
'close personal interest' in his work |
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One
witness confirmed that the Mayor had taken a very
close interest in employee welfare, saying:
'He
sure did! He was slipping the girls §10 notes
all night! I guess that's what you call a hands-on
administration!'
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Another
witness confirmed that after repeatedly checking the
bourbon for 'watering-down', Mayor Harker swung by his
legs from a glitterball, 'to test the anchorage'.
'You gotta admire someone who works until three or four
in the morning in the interests of public safety,' he
said, |
Try
it and see! |
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'And, you know? It's really good to see someone enjoying
his work. Hey, you won't be using my real name for this,
will ya?' |
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Sim
Am I Hot or Not? - New Top Three!
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#1
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#2
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#3
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Image
from
Patricia
DGS
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9.0
hot
units
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8.8
hot
units
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8.6
hot
units
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After seemingly
endless weeks of looking at the at the same Top Three,
readers of The Sim were today rewarded for their loyalty
with an all-new Sim in the Number Three spot. With an
outstanding score of 8.6 Hot Units (HU), Patricia of
Dollar
General Sims stands shoulder-to-shoulder with the
best in Sim artistry!
Erynn-Elisabeth's (SimGoddesses)
devine entry attracted a huge 1809 votes, netting a
noble 7.7 HU.
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Tell
me...
am I
HOT
or
NOT?
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Sim Am I Hot or Not?
is based on an original concept
by someone else.
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So
what are you waiting for? Let the rating begin!
| UFO sighted at thesims.com |
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Reports have continued to flood in of a UFO sighting
at the official Maxis Sims site, thesims.com.
The
UFO, or Un-Finished Object,
was first sighted at approximately 7:00pm GMT, on the
8th of August, 2001. After
literally dozens of sightings, it vanished as quickly
as it had first arrived, and was replaced with a slightly-more-finished
version.
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UFO:
UnFinished Object
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| "Ah-uh,"
reported one Sims fan, "It was definitely a UFO.
The bottles turned into plates, or something? Then, suddenly,
it was replaced by an exact copy. It's a cover-up!" |
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Special
agent Fox Mulder confirmed that the object was still the
subject of an FBI investigation, as the captions still
don't read right in Japanese. And he added that, in his
opinion, the truth was out there, somewhere. |
| Should
there be more surrealism in The Sims? |
Ankle (470) |
22% |
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Cantilever (347) |
16% |
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Kipper (425) |
20% |
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Maroon (347) |
16% |
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Probably not (513) |
24% |
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| 2102
votes total |
.uoy
ot kcab teg yletinifed lliw ew, naem srewsna eht tahw
tuo krow ew ecnO .miS ehT
fo yrotsih eht ni llop detsetnoc-yltoh tsom eht siht gnikam,
lloP msilaerruS smiS eht ni detov sredaer 2012 gnihsinotsa
nA.
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Silent
Insomnia wins top advertising industry award
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| Popular
MOTS webmaster, Silent Insomnia, was today presented
with the highest accolade of the advertising industry:
the Flying Pig award. The Flying Pig, considered
by many to be the advertising equivalent of an Oscar,
was awarded for the inspired 'Site Comparison
Chart' campaign that has both delighted and
strengthened the entire Sims community. |
Unbelievable |
Top
industry analyst Chase Vastness confirmed:
'The award went to Silent Insomnia in recognition
of his breathtaking disregard for truth. It really
pushes the envelope of dishonesty, and remember,
we're talking about the ad business here.' |
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Accolade
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'The
campaign ran through the entire spectrum of untruth,
from simple misdirection to outright lie. Inaccuracy,
defamation, insupportable claims: it's all there.
This is a campaign with an inspired disregard
for verifiable facts. Unbelievable.'
Silent Insomnia accepted the award with his usual
blend of humility and good humour, saying:
'I knew the comparison chart would be a controversial
move, but what the hey? I'm not losing any sleep
over it!'
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Simlebrity
Lookalikes: Am I MOTS or
NOT?
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MOTS |
NOT |
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Can you
nominate an ungrateful lookalike?
Send in
the URLs to: Simlebrity
Lookalikes and The
Sim will do the rest!
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Partner
'way too good' at cage dancing
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| Neighbourhood Five resident Burt Anernie was yesterday
reported to be 'suspicious' that his partner of five years,
Trudy Scrumptious, was 'way too good' at cage dancing. |
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Friends confirmed that his suspicions were aroused at
a regular weekend get-together when Trudy (24) put in
an 'awesome' performance in the hired dance cage, despite
having admitted no prior dance experience.
'Whoo-hooo!!'
said one,
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Too good
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'She was, like, awesome! Trudy really stole the show! I tell you, that lady has
seen the inside of a cage before, know what I'm saying?'
Mr
Anernie (26) was at a loss to explain his partner's
newfound proficiency:
'Okay,
so she has been working over at that new club Sim
X
for the last six weeks, but she says she just waits
table. Although, I have to say, §500 a night did
strike me as a tad generous.'
'Well, I guess she could pick that stuff up just
by watching' he mused later, 'Yeah, that's probably
it.'
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Acrophobic bitterly regrets choice of flooring
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| After a tense 48-hour battle with acrophobia, longtime
Neighbourhood Four resident, Ed Fledge, was finally prised
from his armchair this morning. |
| Ed
(37) had become trapped after fitting newly-imported 'glass'
floor tiles from Japan.
'I
don't know what he was thinking,' said a concerned neighbour
this afternoon, 'The guy has a morbid fear of heights:
why he fitted the entire upper floor with transparent
floor tiles is beyond me.'
Ed
later confessed, 'When they said 'transparent', I didn't
realise they meant completely transparent: I
just thought it would look kinda neat. I'm gonna have
to rip up the entire floor tomorrow.'
'If I can find it, that is.'
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Ed
Fledge, clearly distressed |
| Original
suppliers Caro's
Sim Kagen confirmed that the 'Yakko' floor tiles were
indeed completely transparent, but that a semi-transparent
range would be available shortly. |
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Bizarre
accident transforms resident into attractive lounge set
Before |
After
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In what has been described as a 'chance in a million'
accident, popular Neighbourhood One resident Sophea
Sogood
was today transmogrified into an attractive sofa and
matching armchair.
Doctors
at Sim City Central Hospital have described her condition
as 'comfortable'.
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